Monday, August 3, 2009

Two stupid moments and three trashed rooms.

Doormat here.

What is it about being in public that makes people lose all semblance of common sense? I swear, I get about five moments like this per day.

"Is there a convention in town?" Me: *points to LARGE, BOLD-LETTERED sign behind front desk that reads, "[City Name] Welcomes Vocational Agriculture Teachers Association of [State]"*

A guest came in to check in at about 9:00 A.M. I tell him that checkin doesn't begin until 3. He says, "A.M.!?" And I explain to him no, 3 P.M. And just to boot, I looked at him like he was a fucking dumbass.

Some guests in our hotel decided to have a party. A birthday party. With pink icing. The next morning, after they had left, housekeeping followed a trail of crushed Froot Loops to room ***, in which there was a huge mess - pink birthday cake icing everywhere, stained towels, water all over the bathroom floor, trash EVERYWHERE. The housekeepers call me, and I call the manager in charge while the GM is away, and we take pictures. There is even a large smear of pink icing on the back of the door. The manager charges them $100 in addition to the regular room rate for cleanup, because this room will take at least twice as long to clean, plus some of the towels are stained with food coloring, which doesn't come out.
Two days later, the guest (naturally, and naively) calls to complain that she has been double charged. We ask her if she had a party in that room. First, she denies it altogether. We tell her that the room was messy way out of the ordinary and that we had to spend a lot of time cleaning up the icing that was everywhere. She then tries to tell us that they had a little party, with a little bit of cake, and that the 2 year old may have made a mess. We tell her that was impossible, because the icing smear on the door alone was eye-level to an adult. She then tells us that if we would have called and asked, she would have cleaned the room. Right... we're going to call you and ask you to come clean your own room; that's gonna go over REALLY well. She is still furious, and we tell her that she is welcome to dispute the charges with the credit card company, but we will be sending them pictures of the room if she chooses to do so.
The same day, we had a softball team check out. One of the rooms was covered in garbage and "spit wads." We charged them $100 too.
Moral of the story? You don't have to leave the rooms clean, but don't think that we have magical robots that mysteriously make that room clean. And if you piss of the housekeepers, they bitch to us, and then we bitch to the managers, and then we charge you out of spite.ASSHOLE GUEST MOMENT Guest comes in. I tell him that we only have rooms on the second floor. He tells me that is fine and rents a room anyway. He then comes through the front desk area pushing a cart full of luggage. He asks me where the elevator is. I tell him that we do not have one since we only have two floors. He then, indignantly, demands that I move him to the first floor. I tell him that I cannot, since we only have rooms on the second floor. He then demands a discount. I tell him, politely as possible, that I cannot do that since I rented him the room after having told him that ALL WE FUCKING HAD WERE SECOND FLOOR ROOMS.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Two annoying guests and the atrium is hot.

DOORMAT here and reporting for duty.

I get told about twenty or more times a day that the atrium is hot.

See, I work in a newly remodeled hotel-motel that has rooms on the "indoor." Except the "indoor" is more like a large, open room in which there is a pool. And no air conditioning.

Apparently the guests think I am retarded or something and feel the compulsive need to tell me, pretty much constantly, that the atrium is hot. I have explained to them that the room is a large, open space with skylights in which there is a pool, so it is more like a sunroom. They do not understand this; they argue with me about whether it can be air conditioned and whether the air conditioner that simply MUST exist is broken. They tell me that we should open the doors to get a breeze flowing through and I explain that no matter what, the room will be hot because the air conditioners in the rooms are the outdoor style air conditioners and they pump hot air into the atrium 24 hours a day. No matter how many times I explain this, idiot guests do not understand. They tell me that the atrium is hot. Repeatedly.

In other news...

I think this guest, while not necessarily being the grossest or rudest, probably tops my list as the most annoying.
Night of stay #1: Guest calls to tell me that her shower/bath fixture is broken, that when they pulled the device to turn it from bath to shower that "a bunch of parts fell out and now it doesn't work." I politely tell her that I will be happy to move her to another room (since I can't call maintenance because it's about 8 PM and a non-emergency). She tells me no, that is too inconvenient. I tell her that without moving her she will not be able to take a shower and that is our only option. She then informs me that her husband has fixed it, but they had to suffer this inconvenience and she wants me to note it on the room and be compensated for it.
Night of stay #2: Guest comes in to ask me if the washing machine is broken. I tell her yes, that maintenance is working on getting it fixed (which was a total lie; I don't think that maintenance even does our washing machines). I tell her that I will be happy to direct her to the nearest laundromat, which I proceed to do. I tell her that I'm not sure what cross-street it's on, but I give her directions to the major street it's on and give her a general idea of the north-south location. Little do I know, this will come back to bite me in the ass. She also tells me that the ice machine is broken (which it isn't; guests have just been filling their coolers since we have a sports team staying here). I tell her that no, it isn't broken, it's only empty, but I can direct her to a convenience store or she can wait a couple of hours for the machine to finish making new ice. She launches into a whine-fest, telling me about four times about what she's had to "endure" since she started staying here. I tell her that I'm very sorry, and that there is nothing I can do, and she finally wanders off.
Final night of stay: Keep in mind that she comes to tell me this in the evening - not when she checks out, which is when people normally complain because that is when we charge you and they are usually trying to get a discount. She tells me how this has been the most frustrating stay of her life. She tells me about how the shower broke, about how the ice machine and the washing machine broke, and how this has made her life very difficult. In addition, she has decided that she is going to whine about how housekeeping is "incompetent" by telling me, in detail, how they hadn't cleaned the mirror behind her sink where the toothpaste splashes or something, how they hadn't scrubbed the coffee table and there were still drink rings on it, how they didn't refill the soaps and shampoos because she takes them and gives them to charity, and I can't remember what else because honestly I zoned out about halfway through. I tell her that housekeeping is gone, but I give a note to them. I wasn't going to; housekeeping does all of these things when you leave, but when you are staying over they basically empty your trash, change your towels, make your bed and vaccuum. If you are an obsessive compulsive neat-freak, CLEAN YOUR OWN DAMN ROOM. She launches into a full-on 10 minute rant about these things, and I repeatedly tell her that housekeeping is gone, and as to the other things, I had no control over that and I'm very sorry she had to endure the inconvenience but that there was nothing I could do. She seems to think that this is my fault and that I can comp her stay, so she keeps on. I tell her that I cannot give her a discount; she will have to speak with a manager when she checks out because I don't have the authority to lower her rate (in all honesty I do, but I won't because the things she's whining about are really minor and she's being such a pain in the ass about them). I tell her that I can't give her a discount more than FIVE times. She tells me her story AT LEAST FIVE TIMES. Finally, in exasperation, I say, "Ma'am, I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do. I offered to move you rooms, and the other things I have no control over. I just don't know what you want me to do." She gives me a disgusted look, like I just told her to fuck off, and walks off. The next day when she checks out, she gives my manager the play-by-play of all of these complaints, PLUS she tells my manager that I was rude and that I had lived here my entire life and didn't even know where a laundromat was. My manager told her, "I highly doubt she was rude, and she isn't FROM here, she's just going to SCHOOL here. I'm not giving you a discount because you haven't told me anything that would justify giving you one, you've just listed a bunch of things that weren't that big of a deal because you think it can get you a free night. Well, you're wrong." 3

A woman comes to tell me, at 7:30 A.M., that she is here for the softball tournament. I ask her what I can do for her. She says, "Give me a room!" I explain to her that check-in does not begin until 3 P.M. (it seems kind of common sense that it wouldn't begin this early and I usually don't get people asking until noon, but once I had someone ask at 9:30 AM). I explain that I can't check her in early because there are no clean rooms as we were sold out the night before. At this point I realize she has the extremely annoying tick of like, licking her teeth or something by flicking out her tongue. She then demands that I give her directions to the softball complex and tells me to call her as soon as we have clean rooms. I explain to her that housekeeping may have clean rooms by noon at the earliest, but there is nothing I can do. She tells me, "Well I doubt that since they clean them one by one, but whatever." I guess she doesn't realize that housekeeping has to wash sheets and clean for stayovers as well. I know she's going to demand a room at noon, but I'm just going to repeatedly tell her that checkin doesn't begin until 3. She's going to love that. Anyway, she then demands that I give her directions to the softball field and I'm happy to give her the WORST directions I can, taking her through town and making her spend an extra 15 minutes at least, all the while trying not to ask her to stop the tongue-flicking thing. She then just walks off, and I'm tempted to yell after her, "YOU'RE WELCOME!" but I don't.

Well, I'm off to dispel rumors that I'm quitting that I can hear the housekeepers openly discussing. I said I was THINKING about leaving since I'm going back to school in 3 weeks. I didn't say I am GOING to. That's the last time I talk to that girl about anything of consequence.